Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Thy Will be done
I have been thinking on this quite a bit this month. It's been a hard month for me...just to be honest.
I think whenever you make decisions for God Satan takes it as a personal challenge to wipe you out as fast as he can. He's been sending punches my way physically and mentally.
Homeschooling is no joke. I take this job very seriously. This is one way in which Satan bombards me. I get caught up in the schedule, the testing, the studying, the homework, the projects and the list goes on. My OCD nature tends to get me caught in the schedule and things HAVE TO BE DONE OR ELSE.
Or else I feel like a failure. Discouragement sets in and everything else becomes tainted with the lies.
Then pressure from outside the home seeps in. Good opportunities of service. Pressure from others to perform. Guilt from saying no.
I used to pour myself into service outside my home. I gave my best to others and my family got whatever was left which wasn't much or any good to be perfectly honest. I am not like most people. Being social requires me to be "turned on" as I like to call it and requires every ounce of energy I have to function among people. It's physically draining and exhausting and leaves me with a massive headache. I can use this as an excuse and often have but that's not right! There are areas in which I should be serving and helping and pray God that I will have the wisdom to know when to say "no".
It all boils down to "Thy will be done".....not whether so and so feels that I am spiritual or not or that I am backsliding or that I am against my husband and the list goes on.
Homeschool is a huge commitment and for some reason people think that we have a pile of extra time. It's taken far too long to realize that my family comes first...the biggest job that I have right now is my God-given responsibility to train our children. The realization that I have only a few years left to do this is daunting when I consider how much time I have wasted and all the mistakes I have made.
Discipling children especially teenagers is no joke! Gaining those hearts is joy unspeakable!
There's a balance to maintain and it's not always easy.
Getting away to be quiet before God and finding His will is imperative.
Everybody has a different path to follow...
Be wise enough to see through the deceit Satan throws your way and "if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God..."