Time

"Do I hafta go?" little whispered words....

I walk into their room..early...beautiful rosy sleepy cheeks kissed by the longest sweetest lashes I only dream about having...

Little feet poking through the covers...arms dangling from the top bunk and underneath little arms clamped tight about the beloved "Boo".

"It's time." but even though my mouth says those words my heart breaks....

silently....slowly...creeping down from those beautiful lashes....wet drops form and fall....the only thing  I hear is the sniffling from her runny nose...

as I turn....I see tiny fists digging deep and rubbing hard... then she looks up at me, blinking hard and fast...and a tiny smile appears among the rain...

"I can't stop them"....she hiccups, snuffles and coughs.

I bend and help guide the little toes into socks and quietly wash the face gently with a warm cloth...

Little does she know I feel the same way...

"Does she hafta go?"

and inside my heart is crying and I'm struggling not to show her I'm scrubbing hard with clenched fists and blinking fast...

I drop them off at the door...one,two,three,four,five....barely turn to say goodbye excited to see their friends, excited for a new day of packed lunches, dodgeball and pencils....but the sixth comes to wrap her arms around my neck and plant wet kisses on my face....she pulls her bookbag only slightly smaller and lighter than she is and steps down...

she turns...her big brown eyes...tears streaming down her face...to close the door

"no tears!" I gently remind her, and again she forces a smile and shuts the door.

It's all I can do not to jump out, run around and fold her in my arms and kiss all those tears away...

but

It's time.

As I drive away I'm thinking about my Heavenly Father and His love...it's so much greater than mine for her...He loves me that much!

because I love her...she must go...I think about her all day long.

God never leaves...He's with me all day long.

just because I made her go.....my love is there for her.

Sometimes God makes me go...makes me do...His love is still there for me.

I'll be there to meet her at the end....she'll come hopping out, smiling, talking....excited to show me her work she accomplished...she'll have grown a little more today...it was time!