These last few days I have been thinking about friends...friendships have been on my mind. Facebook has its pros and cons...you can watch friendships grow and you can see friendships go. Sometimes it happens to you...on the side of your page you see You and Janet Doe are no longer friends. Sometimes friends close to you seem to be drawn closer to someone else and you can see it grow before your eyes. I think it wise to not draw great conclusions from the happenings on facebook....everything needs to be kept in perspective. I drifted off to a chat about facebook which isn't really what I have been thinking about...sorry :) BUT it was the beginning of my thought process.
Fact. I am a loner. Face to face conversations scare me to death and my brain stops functioning....phone conversations are only slightly less frightening and so I thrive in this world of email, facebook and blogging. My brain feels so less pressured and I have time to think about what I want to say and how to say it properly. You guessed it! I have few friends...I am sure if it wasn't for my family I would become a hermit :) I have had only one best friend in my entire life....a friend I was soo comfortable with I could share my thoughts easily and knew they would not be horrified and condemning but would talk with me and encourage me and I always felt soo much better. As time has passed and circumstances changed I have lost that good friend....so I have started searching my heart. Was I not a good friend? Did I offend? Was I not careful in what I said or how I talked? Am I wrong? Can I ever have this friendship back again? and so on...
I don't believe there is a lot that I can change right now.....I know I was far from perfect and made many mistakes and if I could I would do things differently but the good thing about this situation is that it forced a heart search. If I ever meet another kindred spirit maybe the Lord will have taught me the lessons I need in order to be a good friend.
1.A good friend will always encourage and advise you to do what is right....according to the Scripture~ the first lesson God showed was that I need to be searching the Scriptures daily and
learning God's ways. If I don't know then I should never advise!!!
2. A good friend is a prayer warrior~prayer should always be my first course of action. With God leading our friendship how can we go wrong?!
3. A good friend will never let you complain~ there's a difference between sharing a problem and complaining about something...I need to learn when to draw the line both in my life and when talking with others. My conversation can bring my friend down....that is not being a good friend.
4. A good friend is not a gossip~sharing problems often involves talking about another person which can very easily lead to just plain gossiping...not a good place to go!!! I need to learn not to be a gossip AND not listen to gossip. Learning to carefully control my conversation is going to take a lot of prayer!!!!
5. A good friend is in control of his spirit~in other words, I am not controlled BY my emotions. If I am having a "down" day, don't let it show on my face or in my conversation. Sometimes I may have to put myself aside to be a good friend to someone else. This is a big one for me...if I am discouraged, frustrated, lonely, sad, etc. I tend to let it show especially to those closest to me...my family at home.I want the victory in this area sooo bad! Being out of control tends to send a lot of other people out too!!!
6. A good friend is sensitive to the feelings of others~sometimes people need to be alone...sometimes people need a friend to simply sit beside them for a minute. If a friend is sad, it would not be a good idea to excitedly talk about what a great day it is, what I found in the store yesterday and so on. That may add more burdens on top of the poor soul. Be aware of other's feelings and act and talk appropriately.
There are numerous verses in the Bible on friendship and some of them have been pricks in my life reminding me, teaching me, and showing me how wrong I have been.
Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpeneth iron;so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." This quote I read in a book I am reading " a spiritually sharp friend is a positive influence". Oh how I need to become sharpened!!
Prov. 17:17 "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
Prov.13:20 "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed." Don't be fooled!! You are influenced by your friends...make sure they influence you right!
Prov. 25:28 "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." Not what I want my life to be....I need a lot of work on this one!
Prov.10:19 " In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise."
This study is far from over and already I have a lot of work to do.....thanks for reading!